Fear of Starting, Fear of Finishing

I don't like to think of myself as a procrastinator, but in some areas of my life, I really am. For example, I chair the Homeowner's Association of the building that I live in, and I put related tasks off for a perilous amount of time. I often ask myself why I do this, and I find that many other people put off starting tasks that are really quite easy.

The common explanation is Fear of Failure. I will own up to that, as I have never managed a property before. Yes, I've owned a house, but managing a block of 10 flats in a country where I am still learning the Landlord Laws is all new to me. Carol Dweck's writing on the Fixed Mindset vs. the Growth Mindset is instructive here. People with Fixed Mindsets see things in terms of Success vs. Failure, Winning vs. Losing, etc. I don't like to start something if I think that I will do it "wrong." This results in a Fear of Starting.

On the other hand, there are tasks I take on that I spend far more time on than is needed. A manager I once worked with told me "you try to do your job better than the company needs you to." A bit strange at first, but the point she was making was that my strain of perfectionism means that I don't budget my time for tasks well. As they say, 'perfection is the enemy of good.' I could accomplish a lot more tasks if I spent less time trying to get each one perfect. Hence the Fear of Finishing something before it's "perfect."

How to deal with these two fears?

In the case of Fear of Starting, it's a simple decision to Just Start the Damn Thing. Notice the word "start" there. I don't commit to completing the task, just getting started on it. Funny thing is, I usually finish it in far less time than I thought it would take. Tackle it with the confidence that I may not get it "right" the first time, but in most cases no one else is going to do it, so my doing my anticipated inadequate job is better than no one doing it at all. (Corollary: I have learned to ask for help. What an idea!) Fear of criticism is a big deal with me. I have to accept that I will learn from my mistakes, usually pointed out by people with goodwill, and I will do it better the next time. I remind myself that everything that I am good at, at one time I did not know how to do. Yoda may have told Luke Skywalker "Do, or do not, there is no try", but I'm not training to be a Jedi Knight. This is the Growth Mindset. Funny thing is, the anticipated criticism comes a lot less often than I expect. A useful old saying in basketball is "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Do you know that Babe Ruth, the legendary baseball player (sorry to mix sports references here), held the record for Most Strikeouts in a Career for 30 years? "Never let the fear of striking out get in your way" he said.

Fear of Finishing is addressed by adopting an attitude of Good Enough for Now, and Better Than Not Done at All. Yes, I may need to revise or redo what I've done, and my ego may be bruised, but a bruised ego can be a good motivator for growth rather than resentment. If there are critics, I remind myself that it's easy to sit on the sidelines and criticise the players, it's much more meaningful to get in the game and give it a try. I learn and move forward.